Dear Mom,

You were my first and most important role model.

You have taught me to be a humanist. Your love and wisdom have helped me to see the potential good in all people. We are all made up of our life experiences and culture. I feel so incredibly lucky to have been born to you. My life experiences, even when difficult or sad, have always been filled with the knowledge of your love and support.

This incredible luck has become increasingly clearer as I’ve grown up. So many women and girls have grown up with mothers who didn’t know how to show their love or manifested it in very harmful ways.

You encourage me to follow my dreams, to constantly learn. You have given me the gift of a mother role model who cries, laughs, and knows that sometimes you have to say no. You have put family and well-being above material or financial success. You’ve encouraged me creatively.

I don’t remember you ever gossiping about other women or making comments about my appearance. You never seemed to obsess about your looks, and consequently, I’ve managed to keep our body/fashion-obsessed culture somewhat at bay.

One of my friends grew up in a home where her stepdad called her “fatty” every time she went to the fridge to get a snack. She is and was a small petite girl. Apparently in high school she weighed only 97 lbs., yet her stepdad said this because he loved her and knew that it’s difficult to be an overweight woman. He didn’t understand that he would cause her to have body image issues, and that he was encouraging her to judge women based on their pant size.

I feel so lucky that your love for me never expressed itself in such harmful ways.

I’ve heard other women say they’re glad they never had girls or hoped that they would never have girls. The reasoning seemed to stem from a belief that girls are judgmental and competitive against other women.

I feel so lucky that you brought me up to see other women not as threats, but as human beings, imperfect, interesting, teachers, friends and confidants.

Mom, I can’t begin to imagine life without you.

I love you so much!

~ Karla Nelson
2008